Etiquette – Tips & Tricks February 2012

This month we’ve got some more cut out and keep tips & tricks on how to behave in Japan.

Visiting A Home
The first thing to remember when visiting somebody’s home is to remove your shoes! Normally your host will provide slippers to wear in their house after you’ve removed your shoes at the door.
If your host has a tatami floor, then don’t forget to remove your slippers before stepping onto the tatami. Only bare feet or socks should be worn when walking on the mat.
While we’re talking about slippers, don’t forget to change them when visiting the washroom. There are normally toilet slippers just outside the door which you should use instead.

Bathing
If you’re lucky enough to be invited to someone’s home and want to take a bath, then as usual in Japan there’s a few rules to follow.
First, you should wash your body using the shower outside the bath, then you enter the tub, which in Japan is for soaking only and not washing.
After your relaxing soak, get out of the bath and wash again with soap, making sure none gets into the bath water, then soak once more.Although it may be unlikely being a guest, in Japan it’s customary to re-use the bath water for other members of the household, so you don’t cleanse yourself in the bath water, that’s done before you get in!

Sitting
If you’re dining on a tatami mat then you may have to kneel on the floor. The formal way is called “seiza” and is basically kneeling with your legs behind. Foreigners aren’t normally expected to do this for a long time as it can be uncomfortable.
In more casual situations, men normally sit cross legged and women sit with both legs on one side. These are considered to be the correct casual way to sit for men and women respectively.

Etiquette – Tips & Tricks December 2011

Continuing from last month, here’s some more etiquette advice for making living in Japan a bit easier!

Eating
In the last issue we showed you some of the do’s and dont’s of chopsticks. Here’s some more help on eating in Japan:
- It’s polite to say “Itadakimasu” before starting to eat. It’s said to express gratitude not only for the preparation of the food but also any living animals that made up the meal.
- Unlike some Asian cultures, it is considered polite to clear your plate in Japan. It’s not polite to pick out certain foods and leave the rest.
- Instead of pouring soy sauce directly onto rice or other food, pour a small amount into the provided dish.
- When dipping sushi into the soy sauce, it’s considered polite to do it sushi side down, to prevent grains of rice falling into the soy sauce.
- You can lift rice and soup bowls to your mouth to avoid spilling food. It’s also acceptable to slurp certain foods such as ramen or soba noodles. However, that’s not an excuse to slurp when in the Italian restaurant as slurping pasta is not normal!

- Lower down the scale on ways to offend is eating or drinking while walking. It’s not a big problem, but some Japanese do consider it impolite to eat while walking or on public transport.
- When you visit a restaurant you’ll often receive a wet paper towel called an oshibori. Don’t wipe your face or neck with the towel as it’s considered rude in the majority of places.
- When using a toothpick you should cover your mouth with one hand.

While on the subject of covering your mouth whatever you do don’t blow your nose at the table especially with a cloth handkerchief! Blowing your nose in public let alone in a restaurant is very rude. However, sniffing to prevent blowing is ok!

Etiquette Top 10 – Tips & Tricks October 2011

Living in Japan can be tough, but learn a few basic rules and life becomes a lot easier! Here’s our rundown of what to do and not to do in Japan.

Bowing
A lot more complicated than it seems, with rules including the depth and direction of the bow. Most Japanese are happy to shake hands with non-Japanese but if you want to get it right, then a semi-formal bow would be about 30 degrees from the waist.

Paying
When in shops or restaurants, if there’s a small tray next to the register then place your money there. It’s a breach of etiquette to hand the money when there’s a tray present.

Wedding Gifts
If invited to a wedding it’s normal to give a gift of money in a special sealed envelope. The amount may depend on the group of people, their status or it may be a set amount. It’s considered inappropriate to give an even amount of notes or to give 40,000 yen as 4 (shi) sound phoentically like death in Japanese.

Eating in Restaurants
There’s a variety of rules associated with dining in Japan. Here’s some of the most important (most relating to Chopsticks!)
- Unlike China it’s considered polite to clear your plate.
- Never rub chopsticks together
- Don’t pass food from chopstick to chopstick
- Don’t stick your chopsticks upright in your rice
- Don’t spear food with one chopstick
- Don’t leave chopsticks in your mouth while doing something else
- Don’t use your chopsticks as toys, putting them up your nose may make a funny photo but it’s not polite!
- Don’t point at people with your chopsticks

As you can see there are a lot of rules relating to restaurants especially chopsticks and this doesn’t cover all of them! Most of the reasons these rules apply is because certain acts such as putting the chopsticks vertically in rice relate to death and funeral traditions. More etiquette in the next issue!

Marriage & Divorce in Japan – Tips & Tricks August 2011

Marriage

If you’re thinking about getting married in Japan, then here’s what you need to know.

Paperwork
Before you can get married in Japan as a foreigner then you need a sworn affadavit of competency to marry. This is normally obtained from your country’s embassy or consulate. If you’re in the military then you need to go through military channels to obtain the certificate.

What’s Legal?
You may think, like back home, you go have the fancy ceremony, then that’s it you’re married. Nope.
The ceremony in Japan, whether you chose a Western or Japanese style occasion means nothing legally.
Until you submit a “Notification of Marriage” at city hall you’re not legally married. So in theory, you could get married in just a few minutes at the city office. Not very romantic though!

Age
The legal age to get married in Japan is 18 years old for men and 16 years old for women, though if you’re under 20 years old you need parental permission. After divorce though, a woman must wait 6 months to re-marry in case she may be pregnant. Though if she happens to be divorcing and re-marrying the same man, then that can be done in the same day! It probably wouldn’t make the city office too happy though!

Japanese & Foreign Marriage
One of the big criticisms about mixed marriage in Japan is that foreigners are not fully recognised on the family register. As it’s such an important document and literally contains the identity of a family it’s come in for increasing attack in recent years for not being reformed. Whether foreign or Japanese, most parents chose to get married due to the father of a child born outside marriage not being legallly recognised.

Am I Legally Married?
Most countries including the US, recognise that a foreign legal and valid marriage, which includes Japan of course, is also valid in the US.

Divorce

In recent years terms like “Narita Divorce” and “Kansai Divorce” have become common with couples going off on honeymoon then divorcing as soon as they get back! Much like marriage, if both parties agree, then divorce can be accomplished quickly by simply filing the paperwork.
However, if one party doesn’t agree then it’s off to adjudication then if that fails, district court. The problem is that even at district court there still has to be an overwhelming reason for divorce to be approved against one person’s wishes.

iPhone repair in Japan/Okinawa

We’ve just come across a really useful site to bookmark if you own an iphone and it has an accident one day..This site here offers iPhone repairs across Japan including for the iPhone 4 and they say they can do it at half the price of Softbank. They also boast of an 8 hour turnaround. Bear in mind it’s in Tokyo and normal express shipping to Tokyo takes 2 days, but it’s worth a look if Softbank repairs are looking expensive!

White Day Versus Valentine’s Day – Confused?

Read on for our lowdown on what to do and when and what makes Japanese Valentine’s day

different to home.

If you’re from a Western country then highly likely you’re used to lavishing gifts, cards and flowers on the lady in your life come Valentine’s day. Well now you’re in Okinawa you’re in for a surprise. Ladies – it’s time to pamper your man on Valentine’s day, you have to wait another month until March!
Valentine’s day in Japan is a time for ladies to present a gift to the men in their lives, normally chocolate. Ladies in the past have given good quality chocolate called “honmei choco”. However, it’s becoming more fashionable for ladies to give handmade chocolate as a sign that the man in their lives is the “only one”. Hence why you will see lots of chocolate and cake making ingredients in the stores. It’s also common for ladies to give inexpensive gifts of chocolate to work colleagues and male friends. These gifts of appreciation are called “giri-choco”. As Valentine’s day has become bigger and bigger business for the chocolate companies, “tomo choco” has also appeared in recent years, which is chocolate for their female friends.

White day comes around on March 14th and is a chance for men to return the favour. This is a relatively modern invention having started in 1978 by a confectionary company on the grounds that men should have the chance to reciprocate the gifts bought for them on Valentine’s day!
It’s now common for men to buy gifts of chocolate, jewellery, white chocolate or white lingerie for the special woman in their life. They’re also expected to give “giri choco” to female friends or co-workers who may have bought them chocolate on Valentine’s day.
However, the ladies have the last laugh, and their patience of waiting an extra month is rewarded as it’s expected for men to give gifts of two to three times the value of their received Valentine’s gift. The Japanese use the expression “sanbai gaeshi” or “thrice returned”
If you’re looking for a chocolate gift or to make your own then most major supermarkets have large displays of everything you need. If you prefer to go the Western way and send your loved one flowers, then check out www.flowerdrop.net for flower delivery in Okinawa with ordering and service in English.